just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
