Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize