You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
