First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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