I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We need to rekindle our bromance
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
