I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
