I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
