either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
