Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
