Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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