As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
