so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
