i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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