is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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