Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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