I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
