Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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