I need help removing her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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