I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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