Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
