i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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