i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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