i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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