38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
