Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i already hear my dad disowning me
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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