Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
