Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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