he puts the penis in happiness.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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