Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
