if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
