I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
