Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
