Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
