know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
