Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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