my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
