Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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