i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
