Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
