Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
