shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
