hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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