so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
