I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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