I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
