i love accidental penises.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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