you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize