Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize