may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
