This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
be right there i have to get my cape
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize