Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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