The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
