I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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