i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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