Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
