Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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