yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
