Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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