I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize