this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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