He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
