I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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